Finding Home Within

When we get emotionally triggered it’s easy to fall into old patterns of thought and behavior — and it’s easy to get stuck there, thinking this is just the way it is.

Lee Byrd

Learning to live a life free from suffering

When feelings of insecurity, of not being good enough, or fear of rejection and loss arise, if we are not paying attention, we fall prey to a dire sense of desperation and an overwhelming need for relief. We end up grasping at whatever we can for comfort and, for a short period, pain is alleviated. But eventually the high fades and, like a drug addict, we begin to seek out the next “fix” — the cycle is perpetuated.

Sound familiar? What if I told you that there’s help? What if I told you that a life independent of suffering, a life of peace, true peace and spaciousness, is your birthright?

What if I told you that there is nothing wrong with you?

I am not speaking about a life without pain, pain is an inevitable part of life. I am speaking about a life without suffering, a life where we find the strength and clarity to meet the pain, and to find inner peace within the discomfort of the pain . Pain is indeed inevitable. But suffering is always optional.

Suffering is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there.’

Like Dorothy and her ruby slippers, the tools you need for this transformation, the tools you need to find your way home, have always been within your grasp.

However, it will take vigilance — and a deep commitment to a life free from the chains of the past. Are you willing to do what it takes, to roll up your sleeves and do the work?

Where to start? By meeting what is here now.

For many of us, our habit is to push uncomfortable emotions away. Thus it may seem counterintuitive to actually allow those emotions to be here. Emotions are not good or bad, they simple are. They come from our energy system not, as most of us believe, from some external source such as an event or person. The external source simply serves as the trigger that brings the emotion to the surface.

Avoiding emotions will always backfire on us by creating more of the same. They are not meant to be obviated, but rather to be explored, to be listened to. As spiritual teacher Ram Dass says, invite your demons in for tea.

Create a daily practice of sitting silently with your awareness on the sensations within your body. Notice where the emotional pain (rejection, fear, insecurity, etc.) resides in your body — maybe the belly is contracted, or there is tightness in the throat. Describe the sensation — give it color, texture, flavor — does it have a voice? If so, what is it trying to tell you? Emotions are the Soul’s way of getting our attention.

Your emotions are a song written only for you. Your job is to listen.

Gary Zukav

Empowerment is the simple act of allowing ourselves to experience these sensations, without judgment or the need for them to be different. This strengthens our innate ability to find true rest within. It is within the spaciousness of rest, that we can begin to identify the emotional patterns that keep us trapped in the past.

Incorporating this awareness in our daily lives.

By honing the practice of awareness, we begin to more easily notice when we are being triggered and are inclined to move into reactivity. This is empowerment.

Name it! Say it outloud — “Oh, past is present!” or “I’m triggered and moving into reactivity.” This actually stops the momentum of the thought allowing us to feel more in control.

Empower yourself! Take the time to recognize the emotions that are arising and find them in your body — neck, throat, belly, shoulders — contraction, tightness, etc. This acknowledgement allows the nervous system to begin to slow down and thus come into balance — just enough to avoid that place of desperation.

Recognize that you have a choice! At this point you can either give into the destructive cycle of reactivity or you can stop. By actively stopping and taking a moment to breathe deep into your body (and Soul) you remind yourself of your commitment to a life of Freedom. By giving yourself this time, your emotional body comes into balance allowing you to make a different, life-affirming choice.

This is true empowerment.

Emotional patterns that do not enhance our lives are potentially destructive. But we have the ability to change this — like old files on a computer, our work is to delete the old, unhealthy patterns and replace them with patterns that sustain.

Are you willing to give up suffering and to prioritize a life of Freedom?

If you are ready, let’s get together, let me lend you a loving hand of support, let me help you create a life of Freedom.

Remember, there’s no place like home…

Essential Oil Suggestion: Joy

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