I would like my life to be a statement of love and compassion and where it isn’t, that’s where my work lies.
Ram Dass
In our weekly Sunday Morning Meditation, we talk a lot about the power to love ourselves unconditionally just the way we are. Recently someone asked a great question: “If I embrace unconditional love of myself, does that mean I must love everyone unconditionally?”
The short answer is no! We possess the gift of free will giving us the ability and the power to make our own decisions. There is no must.
Ultimately, however, once we fully engage in loving ourselves, loving others as they are will just naturally occur. Rather than fretting over whether we can love someone else, someone we don’t really like, someone harmful or toxic, focus on loving yourself unconditionally
The word unconditional simply means not subject to any conditions. Unconditional love is loving without judgment of flaws or limits or inadequacies. It means recognizing our own divinity.
We Are Love
Unconditional love does not ask that we turn a blind eye and ignore or deny that people do horrible things such as murder, rape, steal, cheat. Actually, quite the opposite.
When we open our hearts to loving ourselves unconditionally and live life from that space, we instinctively know how to deal with life on life’s terms. Holding someone in our heart who participates in harming themselves or others physically, emotionally, or spiritually, may seem ineffective and vastly inconsequential. Yet, this loving, compassionate act is the most powerful action we can take. We do not practice this kind of forgiveness for others’ sake. We do this work for ourselves. This is a very sacred and selfish act of healing. And the more we heal ourselves, the more the world heals.
Disclaimer:
This is in no way saying that the actions of others are okay. We can only be accountable for our own thoughts and actions and take care to keep ourselves safe.
A Gentle Exercise
Go slow. We have years and maybe lifetimes of conditioning to sort through. Start by focusing on loving yourself first and just see where that leads you. Please don’t worry about loving those who scare you, it’s not possible to change them. But we can change ourselves. Try this gentle exercise to focus on how unconditional love feels in your body.
- Find a quiet safe space to sit, spine straight but not rigid.
- Take a moment and look around your environment. Notice the colors, textures, smells, sounds, etc.
- Three or more deep intentional breaths (https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/breath-work-beginner-embodiment-exercise/).
- Close your eyes and imagine another being sitting in front of you. This is a being that loves unconditionally such as a pet or young child.
- Notice how it feels to be in the presence of this Soul. Check in with your physical body, find the sensations associated with this experience.
Now take out your journal and reflect on what you experienced. And remember to be very tender with yourself. This is a journey of self discovery highlighting the unconditional love around you and within you.
Then ask yourself, to what dear souls do I offer unconditional love? A child, a pet, a significant person in my life? What sensations arise when you visualize them and your relationship?
Finally, visualize ways you show yourself unconditional love. Like is your self-talk positive and affirming? Are there specific ways you practice self-care?
Practicing unconditional love grows our personal authenticity, emotional freedom, inner peace and serenity. Loving ourselves unconditionally provides the foundation for healthy relationships, compassion for others and living fully.
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