What If I Told You We Are Living a Life of Our Own Creation?

If we think we are not good enough, we never will be. If we think we’re amazing beings, we are.

We are powerful creators. Universal law states that what we dwell on, we manifest. Our thoughts create our reality. Many of our thoughts run through our heads without our conscious awareness.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?
Mary Oliver

What keeps us from living the life we always wanted? Most of the time, what prevents us is our thoughts.

As a child I dreamed of being a writer. I loved reading and exploring new worlds. I just knew that someday I too would write stories that would excite and inspire others.

In my senior year of high school, I naturally elected to take English composition. I was so excited, this was my first step towards that dream. Our first assignment was to write a paper describing who we were and what we wanted to be when we finished school. Perfect!

Naturally, I wrote that I was going to be a writer, maybe even publish a book. I confessed that I knew I had a lot to learn, and I was willing to do just that. I remember loving this assignment and feeling so proud of myself. Then the unthinkable happened.

When the teacher handed back our assignment, I expected he’d correct grammar and spelling. I also expected a brief note of encouragement like, “Good luck, keep going!” What I received was anything but praise. In large bold red letters he scribbled across my paper: “If this is an example of what you can do, give it up, you’ll never achieve anything.”

I was embarrassed and humiliated. I believed this vicious critique of my writing and incorporated this statement into my thinking. I squelched this desire to become a writer. I stuffed it away in a box and placed it on that shelf of broken dreams.

The Inner Dialog That Enslaves Us

We humans are creatures of habit. We wake up every day and basically do the same thing we did the day before and probably will do tomorrow. We move through our day unconscious of our thoughts and even the beliefs of others that are imposed on us. Without realizing what we are thinking and feeling, our unchecked emotions, such as fear, stress and not being good enough simply generate more of the same.

What you think, you become.
Buddhist saying

Our thinking manifests our reality. If our inner thought conversation is a constant flow of, “I’m not good enough,” that is what we always get.

Our habit might be to think, “Well, this is just the way it is, this is how I am, I just have to get used to it.” And if we don’t question that thought, it can never change.

If we want to change our life, our task is to change our thinking, to literally reprogram our brain. But we cannot do that if we aren’t willing to recognize the inner dialogue that enslaves us, which keeps us chained to the past.

The life you’ve always wanted to live awaits you. You just have to make the journey.
Dr Joe Dispenza

What We Think, We Become

The pain of giving up my dream rendered me powerless. I believed the adult because I was conditioned to believe they know better. When I told my mother, she said the teacher only had my best interest in mind. My father laughed out loud at me calling me absurd. Stop dreaming, they both said. Move on, get a job, find a husband, have babies.

I felt ashamed for even thinking I could be a writer, who did I think I was? This pain ran deep, and I had no idea what to do with this belief that I wasn’t good enough to fulfill my dream to be a writer. For a number of years, I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol telling myself using these substances was okay, I could quit whenever I wanted. And finally I did.

Soon, I gave birth to my daughter. Seeing her beautiful light, and experiencing her innocence and her natural ability to love unconditionally made me want to be the best mother I could possibly be for her. Giving up the drugs and alcohol gave me the ability to make raising her my priority, but without these numbing substances, I felt confused with conflicting thoughts and emotions.

I began seeking another way to deal with life on life’s terms that would allow me to be fully present for my daughter—and ultimately for myself—and to release this emotional pain. I see now that I am the only one responsible for my emotions and the only one that can change the direction of my life. This has been liberating.

I have to do the work. I am a powerful creator, as we all are, yet knowing this doesn’t really change anything. Reading the books and attending endless workshops reinforces this Truth, but nothing really changes.

I started listening to my own inner dialogue, and asked myself, “Can I believe any of my thoughts?”

The Purpose of Meditation

Many think that the purpose of meditation is to stop the flow of thoughts. That is no more possible than standing in the middle of a raging river and demanding that it stops moving. Our thoughts are just thoughts, and they flow constantly.

The true purpose of meditation is to familiarize ourselves with our thoughts. Recognizing our thought habits and patterns allows us to know why we feel what we feel. This awareness enables us to go deep into these patterns and ask the ultimate question, “Is this true?”

Rewriting and Rewiring

Rewiring my brain starts with listening to the stream of thoughts. Then I follow through with the emotional work of discovering the lies and replacing them with Truth. I am worthy. I am a writer. I can and will do this. My life matters.

When we take the time to become aware of our current programming and follow through by reprogramming, we begin to live the life we always wanted. Everything becomes possible. The shy young girl who was bullied by her teacher becomes a well respected blogger and writes her first book. The first of many.