All my life I have been acutely aware of what others are feeling. It is such a part of me that I assumed everyone felt this way. I realized years ago that not everyone understands or values this level of sensitivity.
Several years ago I discovered that the reason for my sensitivity is that I am an empath.
According to Dr Judith Orloff, some of us are born this way while for others it can be the result of early childhood trauma where we didn’t feel seen or safe in a world that does not value sensitivity.
Dr Orloff continues her explanation: “We empaths haven’t learned to defend against stress in the same way as others do. We’re different in that respect. A noxious stimulus, such as an angry person, crowds, noise or bright light can agitate us since our threshold for sensory overload is extremely low.”
For many years I heard, “You are way too sensitive.” It felt like an accusation, something to be ashamed of, something I should hide. Learning about people who are empaths explained so much about why I felt the way I did, but I still needed to learn how to be an empath.
My guides responded with three basic concepts about being an empath:
- It is none of my business what others think or feel.
- I can be loving and caring without feeling responsible for how others feel.
- My work is to create sacred space for these feelings and be the intuitive guide to help others find their way to a healthy kind of expression.
This is exactly what I do.
Learning to Be An Empath
Set Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries demand that we trust ourselves and our feelings. We learn to become aware of what behaviors and people to trust.
Know Who is Responsible
Understanding who is responsible for these feelings can get tricky for us empaths, because our natural tendency is to help others, which often implies fixing. Even if we have said or done something and another person feels hurt, it is still the other person’s choice to feel that way. We can apologize but not with the expectation that it will fix the other; we apologize because it is the right thing to do.
The truth is that most people’s emotions arise solely because there are wounds that could use some healing.
Establish Techniques That Help to Keep Us Centered
Staying centered is the only way we can sort out what is true and what isn’t. It is the only healthy way to live whether you are an empath or not. Here’s what I suggest:
Breathwork. Read my friend Katie’s post on embodying breathwork (https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/breath-work-beginner-embodiment-exercise/). Practicing Breathwork regularly will change your life. It calms and balances the nervous system and the emotional body. It takes us out of the fight, flight, flee mode and allows the space for us to recognize what is really going on.
Body-awareness meditation. This practice trains us to notice when we are moving into reactivity. More often than not our body knows this is happening before the brain does. A simple question, what is really going on, helps us to focus. Here is my post on body-awareness and a short audio to guide you (https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/about/meditation/body-awareness-meditation-practice-noticing-sensations/).
Sit in silence. After the body-awareness meditation, sit in silence for several minutes, keeping your awareness on the physical sensations of the body. I suggest a minimum of 15 minutes but do what is comfortable. When I first started sitting in silence I could only do 5 minutes or so. Now, depending on the day, 30 minutes is pretty comfortable. The key to making this work is to make it your own just like any exercise routine–if it’s yours, you are more likely to stick with it.
Journal. Take time to journal your thoughts and feelings onto paper. Writing can ease the mind and begin to release old stories.
Attuning to Vibrational Frequencies
Everything in the universe has a vibrational frequency, even words and thoughts. Empaths are completely attuned to these frequencies. Consequently, we know things sometimes before others do. For example, we know when others are lying and are aware of any toxic energy others are emitting.
Being an empath is a beautiful gift to ourselves and to the world. My being an empath has taken every one of my skills, especially that of Deep Listening, to a profoundly effective level where I am truly present for those I help.
This kind of energy work requires that I take time alone to rest, restore and recharge. I find nature centers me and raises my vibrational frequency, so that I can help others who are seeking Emotional Freedom.
Being an empath is most certainly my super power.