Learning to set boundaries and take care of ourselves
A person I work with on growing their emotional freedom asked me to help them learn about self-care, how to set boundaries, and let go of the need to please others.
I put it out to the universe and asked my guides for inspiration, and here is what they said: Everything a person does, whether healthy or not, is an attempt to do just that: set boundaries and take care of themselves.
No matter how hard we work, many are unprepared to handle life’s hiccups. We can become stressed and overwhelmed which often forces us to ignore what we may truly want.
At What Cost?
When I lost my job last year, I had to give up my car. It took me a couple of days to get comfortable with the idea of letting it go, but once I did, I easily surrendered—no drama, no regrets. Then, I began looking for a work-from-home job and quickly secured a position as a writer for a small business that provides clients with content for websites.
The assignments required extensive research and writing a perfectly worded document with a highly specific layout. The minutia was excruciating and took a great deal of time. When I divided the amount of money I was being paid by the number of hours it took, I made pennies an hour. My boss kept telling me I’d get faster and my paycheck would increase. I worked even harder to please her, work more quickly, and make more money.
Weeks later I was still trudging along. My time wasn’t improving and my stress was increasing. I was beginning to hate the job. It had first appeared that this job would ease my financial situation, and I’d be doing something I love: writing. But at what cost?
Self-Care in Action
Fortunately, I have taken the time to strengthen my self-care techniques (breath work, body-awareness meditation, and self-inquiry journaling) and have the support I need from trusted friends and advisors. One of them held space for me to explore my feelings and options, which led me to decide to quit.
The bottom line is that I have healthy ways of caring for myself and setting boundaries. Sometimes self-care requires tough decisions, yet when I prioritize my good mental and physical health, I can overcome any of life’s challenges.
I am happy to share my techniques with you and even support you in discovering what works for you. This process begins with your desire to step out of your comfort zone and prioritize emotional freedom. I offer a website full of practices and resources, and I meet one-on-one with people ready to do the work. Book an appointment, and let’s get started!
Discovering the Source of Resistance
Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace with them.
Iyanla Vanzant
It’s easier to numb out using drugs, alcohol, even work and sex than to deal with old wounds. But these, as Iyanla Vanzant’s quote so profoundly points out, are bandages and they will not stop the bleeding.
In our work together, we tenderly open the wound to get to the core of the pain, the source of our resistance to taking good care of ourselves. It is only by facing the source of past unsettled issues that we can finally let the old wounds heal.
The freedom that lies just beyond the pain is spacious, serene, and comforting—so worth the effort. This freedom opens us to a new kind of self-care, which includes self-respect and healthy boundaries.
Each of us holds the key to emotional freedom. So, what do you say? Are you ready?