I love writing; it is my passion. I’ve dreamed of being a writer since I was a child. Almost every day, I wake to the desire to write. It is exciting when a story begs me to bring it to life.
Creativity takes courage.
Henri Matisse
However, sometimes, no story is waiting for my attention. On these days, I just want to chill and trust that when a story calls me, I’ll know. And then, my small voice, my ego, says, “Get up and write. This is your job now, so get cracking!”
“I can’t!” I scream in defiance, pulling the covers over my head and turning the music up loud. Oh, I could type a bunch of words on the page, even make them readable. But it will have no soul, no heart. It will simply be words on a page.
The Conveyor Belt
When my daughter was a toddler, I took a job working nights on an assembly line for a printing company. I stood “online” (with the presses on) eight hours a night, moving stacks of printed papers onto a conveyor belt. It was grueling.
When I was finally able to quit, I swore never again. I didn’t mind the rigidity, even though it was pretty dehumanizing. I could handle the late hours (3 pm to midnight). But the job had no soul. The company’s bottom line was to produce as many books as possible as quickly as possible. They didn’t care about employees. Their motto was: Leave your problems at home and work faster.
When I quit my job at the printing company, I promised myself I’d never again do anything so soulless. And, with very few exceptions, I’ve kept that promise.
Climbing Out of the Funk
Yet, my ego voice sometimes screams that I must DO something to be a productive contributor to my family and our culture, even if it’s boring and soulless.
If I’m not mindful and detached from this dark place, I’ll sink into a funk. Through my practices of self-care and Inquiry, I’m working on fully feeling and then detaching right now.
My practice also includes a day or so of whining and feeling sorry for myself. Then I decide enough’s enough.
The decision opens the door, I begin writing. I find that writing heals my heart and uplifts my soul. This is what it’s like climbing out of the funk.
To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.
Osho
Writing Is My Art, My Creative Outlet; It’s Not a Job
I’ve been actively writing publicly through my blog posts for many years. I’m the person who always carries a notepad, jotting down ideas and thoughts as they arise. I have always found time to write, even when working full time, even when caring for my dying husband. I simply could not, not write.
Today, my work is sharing the teachings of those I’ve learned from. I write for a variety of platforms and a growing cadre of readers. Gratefully, I am “retired,” meaning I don’t have a job job.
I am a writer. It’s my art, my creative outlet, my passion. Writing helps me find value in every moment of every day, even the challenging moments. Writing takes me out of the funk and reminds me who I am and what my purpose is, to bring words from my heart and soul.