Lessons from the storm
I’m not afraid to die. I’m not concerned with how I’m going to die. I am at peace with my fate, my destiny. What will be will be.
Last year, I experienced a health crisis that shook me to my core. Not life-threatening but certainly life-changing. Because I trust in the mind-body connection, I knew my body was sending me a message.
I rolled up my sleeves and dove head first into questioning what was happening and, most importantly, why. My self-inquiry was genuinely enlightening and very therapeutic. I made some exciting and informative discoveries, which I share in my post, Running With the Elks.
Were my affairs in order?
As I said, my crisis was not life-threatening but was I ready to die?
My will and DNR (do not resuscitate) were indeed in order and up to date. But what about all my stuff? In my will, I leave everything to my daughter. Curiously enough, this has been a tad unsettling. Knowing she and I don’t always share the same interest in many things, I feared she’d pack it all up and send it off to the local thrift store.
Why would that bother me, I love thrift stores. Why did I care where my things went once I was gone? Good question.
The curse of attachment!
In this deep dive into what was going on for me, I kept asking, what about my stuff? Like my wedding dress and all my crystals? What about the beautiful Rainbow Thanka and the gold Buddha? And my books? Oh, the list goes on and on.
Each thing is special and, truth be told, I was tormented at the thought of losing any of them!
I crafted a note for my daughter to serve as an addendum to my will. I requested that she reach out to my friends and ask what, if anything, of mine they may want. The addendum was of little comfort. The thought of losing everything was relentless. I just couldn’t let go, I didn’t want to let go!
The storm
A few days ago, at precisely 12:58 a.m., my phone sounded an emergency alarm warning of a possible tornado. It had already been a rough night sleeping due to the storm. To say that the wind and the rain were intense would be an understatement. The wind howled devilishly, and the pounding rain was merciless. Every time I’d drop off to sleep, another manic round of wind and rain would arise.
Naturally, I froze when the tornado alarm went off. I knew what to do: grab the dogs and head downstairs to the coat closet. But it was 12:58 a.m., and I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep. I turned on the news and waited to see if the rest of the household was awake. The news indicated the threat was moving to the east. Tornados are not unusual, but they are rare in this specific location.
Please, I said to no one in particular, let the rain and wind stop and take a rest so we can sleep. I was more annoyed at Mother Nature than afraid of the storm. Why did she throw her temper tantrum in the middle of the night? Ugh!
The wind and rain made sleeping impossible, and I became increasingly agitated. Breathwork while waiting for the storm to pass calmed my nervous system, and I began to relax. The news indicated that the immediate danger had passed. Whew!
As I said a little prayer, thanking my Angels, I realized that if the tornado had hit, my stuff would most likely have been destroyed or lost. Maybe because I was so tired, or perhaps because it was a nonissue at that moment; it just didn’t seem to matter. I yawned, snuggled under the covers, closed my eyes, and drifted off to blessed sleep.
My ah-ha dream!
If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. And if you let go completely, you will have complete peace.
Ajahn Chah
I dreamed that I was standing amid the rubble left by the tornado. I was okay, and my family and our pets were okay. Everything we had, including the building, had been reduced to ruin. In my dream, I was at peace with the loss. In fact, I felt liberated. It was a done deal; there was nothing left to worry about.
The universe had taken care of everything. The poachers would find the remnants of my wedding dress, my crystals, books, and artwork and most likely wouldn’t take any, recognizing that they had no “street value.”
The storm left behind what was most important: family. The memories held in all my stuff were forever imprinted in my heart. I’ve heard others speak of this peace after witnessing personal loss and have always been struck by their honesty and authenticity. That is what I experienced in my dream.
Thank you, Angels.
Of course, the biggest takeaway is another sweet reminder from the One Source: things are things, nothing more. Surrender was my prayer that night. Let it go and trust, know that the universe always has my back!
Give up your attachment to having things your way.
Iyanla Vanzant
When I die, my survivors will pack up my stuff. Some things will go to thrift stores, some to friends and family, and some to the trash. And I won’t be able to control and direct the distribution. The storm’s loud, screaming voice said, “It’s just stuff; what will be, will be. Let it go.”
Important: This storm moved up the East Coast of the US and caused havoc for many. Lives were lost, and property was destroyed. This article is in no way intended to minimize those victims’ losses.