The Darkness of Addiction
My heart is heavy this morning. Our friend, a young man we will call Steve, landed on our doorstep recently with all his belongings and nowhere else to go. Sadly, he is addicted to alcohol. As is typical with people who have a substance use disorder, he and his addiction have managed to alienate family and friends.
Unfortunately, this is not my first experience dealing with someone with a substance abuse problem. I am familiar with the disease and possess a knowledgeable understanding of its dynamics. Seeing Steve standing amid all his belongings this morning, my knowledge and understanding of this disease flew out the window. My heart hurt.
As I watched Steve pace around the room, I noticed my throat was tight and my heart was heavy. I took several deep breaths and pushed through, forcing a smile and holding back tears.
Turning To My Acceptance of What Is
How did you get like this? I wanted to scream! But I didn’t. I knew that the only thing I could do was to turn to my practice.
We hugged and chatted for a few moments. When time permitted, I called on a friend and asked for help to get back into my body and the present moment. After that, I allowed the tears to flow as I processed my emotions: fear, anger, and sadness.
Steve is the same age as my grandson, and for as long as I’ve known him, this young man has called me Grandma. Naturally, I want the best for him, but I know that is my desire. I cannot change or fix anything for him. This is his journey; who am I to dictate his path?
We provide food and a temporary, safe place to sleep. We help Steve to connect with any friends or family he may still have. There’s not much else we can do.
Suffering: The Attachment to Our Desires
Surrender is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from no to yes.
Eckhart Tolle
I am acutely aware of my desire for him to change—to wake up and stop drinking. Although I cannot change Steve, my practice allows me to hold hope in my heart. As long as I surrender to my powerlessness, as long as I remain unattached to my desire for him to change, I can rest in the present moment and release my suffering.
My heart aches and I’m okay with that ache.
Returning to the awareness of presence, I find the freedom to allow him to simply be. Allowing Steve to be who he is in this moment, even when it hurts my heart, even when I don’t like it, is unconditional love.
This is all we can do: take care of ourselves, let others be who they are, and allow them to be accountable for their actions. It’s called living life on life’s terms.
My Practice
Recovery begins from the darkest moment.
John Major
Essential Oils have been known to enhance spiritual and meditative practices for many years. I use Ylang Ylang which has been used historically for anxiety and depression. To use:
- Inhale one or two drops in the palm.
- Diffuse
- Apply to the heart chakra.
Breath-work: By bringing mindfulness to our breath, we help balance our nervous system and relax into the present moment.
Gentle movements, such as a slow, meditative walk in nature or a couple of rounds of the yoga sun salutation, can help one to get grounded.
Body-awareness meditation helps reduce anxiety and stress, increasing our capacity for self-love and compassion.
Self-inquiry Journaling helps us become aware of our thoughts and track the emotional patterns that keep us chained to the past.
Essential Oils Disclaimer
The information contained here is in no way intended to replace consultation with your health professional.
Using anything less than 100% pure therapeutic-grade essential oils holds the risk of not producing the desired results and could, in some cases, be extremely toxic.
If you are pregnant or have a disease or medical condition or are using a prescription medication, it is recommended that prior to using an essential oil, you consult with a health care advisor who has experience with essential oils.
For the essential oils appropriate for use on children, we highly recommend that they be diluted with a carrier oil prior to use. (https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/about/contact/disclaimer/)