As a young woman in the 1970s, I was careless and carefree. I thought very little about the future, rebelling against the idea that I needed to plan and prepare. I did what millions of us have done: I got married, gave birth to a beautiful baby, got jobs, lost jobs, found other jobs, got divorced, had affairs, and moved from one coast to the other and the mountains in between. Then, I married the love of my life.
At one point in this mix, I returned to school. I studied computer science (gack)–not because I had an overwhelming desire to learn that particular skill, but because everyone told me I’d make money and secure my future doing that. I woke up in the middle of advanced calculus class one dull afternoon, bored to tears, and realized I wanted to get out of this class and study something fun and exciting that would feed my Soul. This was my wake-up call.
Much to everyone else’s chagrin and disappointment, I dropped out of computer science and registered for creative writing, literature, and public speaking. Now, these books sang to me, and the classroom had my full attention. This is what I wanted to be learning!
I honestly don’t know where I found the courage to switch majors amid the sighs of disappointment. “Are you sure you want to do that? Writers don’t make money. Computer programmers make a ton of money.” They argued with the confidence that I lacked. I felt guilty; I disappointed them.
I was continually trying to decide what would make everyone else happy. I rarely thought about myself and what I wanted or deserved. Making decisions was incredibly difficult because I couldn’t figure out how to make others happy.
I got stuck, unable to hear the longings of my Soul. I got stuck following everyone else’s advice simply because I didn’t know I could trust myself. I was stuck because I wasn’t listening to my sweet Soul. I wasn’t focused on how precious my life was and is.
Life is fragile. And precious. It benefits us to take care of ourselves and treat our lives as if each moment is a sacred gift because it is.
Lee Byrd
Learn to Trust
Then, along came Craig, the love of my life. From the beginning of our relationship, he was always on board with whatever I wanted. Even if he didn’t understand the what or why, he had an innate gift of seeing me, the real me, and always expressed acceptance. He trusted me, and through his trust, I learned to trust myself.
With his encouragement and blessings, I changed majors. It was one of the first steps out of my stuckness, out of depending on others’ approval. I was transitioning into listening to and trusting my heart.
If you realize how fragile your life is and how at any moment it could be turned upside down, you will walk very gently on this planet.
Sadhguru
Throughout all these 76 years here in this body, this lifetime, a few monumental shifts have resulted in a change in course. These shifts opened my Soul and eventually led me to getting unstuck.
Like being a single mom with no support from the father. Like holding my mother’s hand as she slipped away beyond the veil. Like being on the phone with my younger brother when he took his last breath. Like marrying my beloved Craig. And like being diagnosed with arthritis and unable to work at a job outside my home.
Each shift brought me closer to being unstuck in that situation. Each challenge became a stepping stone on my journey of learning to trust myself. Each deep pain strengthened my innate ability to overcome and to heal my past. Each time I opened my heart, I allowed myself to hear my Soul.
It has taken much practice to pull myself out of the muck. I am now unwilling to follow what others think is best for me. I prefer to follow my heart. I trust myself.
Actually, getting stuck can be helpful. When we get unstuck from the muck we are often able to finally see the brilliance of the trees while in the forest. And, let’s face it, trees are beautiful, their shapes, colors and cycles of the seasons holding to the earth and thriving in sun, rain, snow and wind.
Everyday I am better able to recognize that wee-small voice that has struggled to be heard, and embrace my dear sweet Soul through the practices I’ve collected over time. Now when I find myself in reactivity, when I’m feeling fear, grief, sadness, or confusion, I know how to walk myself back home. I want to share this with you.
Get Unstuck!
We are worthy and deserving of a life free from the bondage of our past. If you’re stuck in the muck and unable to hear the voice within calling you to follow your heart, what can you do?
Create a daily practice of recognizing and resting in Presence [link]. Stay connected to your source and to your creative energies. Write, draw, knit, paint, express your true colors, and shine.
Take time to breathe, filling your body with life-giving oxygen. Breathwork [https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/about/teachings/breath-work-beginner-embodiment-exercise/] balances your nervous system, allowing for clarity of mind.
Explore mindful movement such as yoga or slow walks in nature. Consider going barefoot when possible and hugging a tree.
Practice body-awareness meditation to strengthen your awareness. Our bodies will tell us before our brain does when we are moving from Presence into reactivity.
Audio of body-awareness meditation: https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/Body-Awareness-20221216.mp3
Write it out in a self-inquiry journal [https://www.leebyrdmystic.com/self-inquiry-journaling/], which is a specific practice of writing your thoughts and feelings. Why is this helpful? It can clarify your core issues, giving you insight and direction on how to get unstuck and where to start your healing process.
Feed your Soul by exploring new or favorite experiences. You might attend an art opening, start quilting, learn wood carving, play a musical instrument, see a play, attend a concert, swim, dance. The idea is to feel good, enjoy life.
Life is full and rich and magical. There is beauty everywhere. Let’s all stop, take a breath, and look around us. Simply pausing can help with getting unstuck. Simply being grateful for the moment. This is presence.
A special shout out to my bestie, Aimee C, for helping with editing.