I Lost My Voice

Well, actually, he stole it!

His words stung, threatened, muted me,
His words tossed me head-first 
into a cold, cageless prison.
No voice, no choice, no key.
Only the breathlessness of panic.

I lost my voice. 

Only terror remains. Only nightmares remain. 
Spinning alone, fear my only companion.
Voiceless in my cageless prison.
“Where am I? What did I do wrong?”

I want my mother! I want my voice!

Muted. Abandoned.
Day and night,
Night and day.
No voice.

Frozen, invisible, impossible to see.
“Look at me; look into my eyes.
I’m here, right here, can’t you see me?”
I silently screamed.
No one sees my voiceless shadow.
Voiceless, muted, hiding, hiding, hiding.

Somehow.

Somehow, life moves on.
Somehow, it all seems so natural.
Somehow, god ceases to exist.
Somehow, it doesn’t matter.
Somehow.

Sentenced to a lifetime,
Burdened by fear.
“Who am I?”
I cry, quietly, voicelessly. 
No one hears.

Finally, she discovers his sin,
She sees his violation.
His thievery, his transgressions, his evilness.
Is this the key to my cageless prison?
Can I get my voice back now?

No. 

No, voice. No more home.
Abandoned, lost, muted, confused, 
No home, no key.
Just endless days and nights in limbo. 

Still no voice.

Illumination. Here comes the light.

Months and years of rest and restoration,
Oh, so very slowly.
I begin to see Light.
Limbo begins to ease.

There’s nothing to do.
Wind whispers, follow the light.
Wind whispers, give me your sorrows.
Wind whispers, trust me, I’ll whisk them away.
So pack them up I did, 
Into a beautiful bundle,
Gently offering it to the wind

Whoosh! She takes it away,
Turns it into stars that light my path,
Stars that guide and comfort.
Stars that live within and without.
I ride the wind over the clouds
Through the forests, the deserts, the mountains, 
Down and back up the rivers 
And under the seas.

Finally! 

I am at peace.
I am at rest.
I am the Beloved, and 
I am loved by the Beloved.

Finally. 

I found my wild, reckless, crazy, passionate voice.
I am Home.