All right, I’ll take a chance, I will fall in love with you
If I’m a fool you can have the night, you can have the morning too
Can you cook and sew, make flowers grow
Do you understand my pain?
Are you willing to risk it all
Or is your love in vain? ~Bob Dylan
(The following is an email reply from me to a very dear friend who is struggling with a very personal issue. She gave me permission to share my reply to her.)
Dear one,
Thank you for your beautiful note and for entrusting me with this delicate issue. I hope my words can bring some insight and thus rest.
There is much wisdom in taking time for a glass of wine, time to slow down and connect, within and without. Removing shoes, running, walking, dancing barefoot in the grass, letting the energies of the earth penetrate the body and the soul, such a rich bounty for all who surrender to the moment, taking the time to stop, breathe and look around. This is the step that moves our awareness inward and even if done for only a moment, the rewards are vast.
Compassion is the foundation, the bedrock of all spiritual growth. Without compassion we cannot live a life of integrity and authenticity. Compassion gives us the strength and the courage to accept and love and appreciate ourselves and our journey. And love of Self allows us to more fully love others.
Yes, just learning about trees while in the forest, awesome! Such an amazing abundant journey!
Oh, this intimacy dance, such an essential part of marriage. Maybe consider experimenting with different expressions of intimacy and not just those in the love-making bed. Movement together and apart. Ask yourself what it is you want here, what would it take for you to feel safe, to really let go and to be open, passionate, raw? And then give the answers (which are always available) time to bubble up to the surface.
Do not force anything, especially the letting go of resistance. When resistance is here, welcome it, embrace it, dance with it. Then, with the utmost tenderness, ask yourself what is really going on, keep asking and keep watching what arises.
Honor yourself every step of the way. And let go of the end result, you know what they say, people plan, God laughs! After all, it isn’t really about results, it’s about the journey. What can you learn about yourself here?
Trust yourself. And give yourself lots of S P A C E!! LOTS! The blockage will disappear, I promise. But you must have love for the process. Back to compassion – your heart is healing my dear. It has had a lot of bad bumps and you created a wall to protect and that was the right and natural thing to do. Now you have come into a relationship with a fellow traveler and he is offering space and tenderness and, yes, love. And what you are afraid of is that it may all vanish, that you will wake up and it won’t be real. And yet your heart knows, it already has the answer–Love Is.
Be willing to risk it all. Love is not safe. If we want to be safe we will not love because loving ourselves and others means risking pain (rejection, abandonment), there are simply no guarantees, not now, not then, not ever. The only thing we can know for absolute certain is that our lives are richer, deeper, more powerful, completely authentic, when we love!
Do not push those barriers, rather watch them with innate curiosity; touch them, breathe them in and feel their burn. Then let them go, even if only for a moment. The more you meet the resistance, the barriers, the blocks, the more you see them for what they are – fear – the less hold they have on your life.
And remember dear one, fear is only our ego turning our awareness away from Truth – there is only LOVE!
It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being. ~ John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love