Hotchkiss, CO: The friendliest town around.
The next stop on our journey took to the west of the Continental Divide and into the North Fork Valley of western Colorado. The North Fork Valley is located on the north fork of the Gunnison River.
The Valley comprises three small towns: Hotchkiss, Paonia, and Crawford. The Grand Mesa ascends majestically to the north, the Uncompahgre Plateau rises softly to the west, the breathtaking beauty of the Black Canyon of the Gunnison to the south, and, of course, the incredible Rocky Mountains to the east.
It is a beautiful, sacred place where I grew emotionally and learned I had wings and could fly. And fly, I did. Returning to this area and connecting with dear long-time friends was rewarding and emotionally challenging. Old haunts had ghosts, some of whom were difficult to meet again.
I arrived in the North Fork Valley with a child and a broken marriage. My then-husband (I’ll call him Ned) and I had escaped the East Coast in search of a dream or, more accurately, a miracle. We had friends who lived in the Valley, and they beckoned us west. So west we went.
Our summers were spent gathering fresh fruit—cherries, apples, peaches—and helping to harvest vegetables. We dried the fruit and canned the vegetables for the winter months. Our home had a wood-burning stove in the kitchen, where I learned to make bread. Yes, I wore a long skirt and a bandana covering my head. I was a true mountain mamma!
In the winter mornings, after dropping my 7-year-old daughter off at school, I’d head to Thelma’s Feed and Seed, where I was joined by several of my friends. We’d warm ourselves by sitting around Thelma’s pot belly stove and sipping freshly brewed coffee while we chatted about life.
I felt safe and at home in the sweet space offered by the Valley, maybe for the first time. I felt camaraderie with these other women. Some of us had young children, and together, we cared for those children. When one of us needed a break, we’d bring the kids to our homes. This allowed us to take on part-time jobs, which was all that was available to us. It also allowed us to feel the comfort of another caring woman helping out. We were more than community; we were and still are family.
During those years, I helped a group of parents start a small Waldorf-based school for younger children. Another woman and I created a thrift store that financially supported the school. Again, women, hand in hand, supported one another in loving and caring for our children. It was a genuine community effort, one I am honored to have participated in.
One summer, we formed a women’s softball team and called ourselves the Mountain Mammas! And we were good. I learned I could hit a line drive right out of the ballpark. Wow! Who’d have thought?! But I couldn’t catch worth a darn.
Life wasn’t always easy. Money was tight. Ned and I worked hard to pay the bills. I worked multiple part-time jobs waiting tables or helping a friend clean hotel rooms after the hunters vacated–you wouldn’t believe the mess these grown men would leave! We also picked apples in the fall and hauled them to Denver to sell. Ned planted trees in the National Forest near Delores, CO.
But, try as we may, Ned and I were not happy. We snipped, constantly accusing each other of a multitude of sins! Finally, we decided to split. It was not a big surprise. Our marriage was based on need. Both of us came from non-nurturing, sometimes abusive home environments. Like so many, we sought love and acceptance. But our cups were empty, we had nothing to give. Neither of us knew how to love and accept ourselves, let alone another.
So, we parted and went our separate ways. After floundering for a couple of years, I met Craig. I knew him; he was a regular customer at Molly’s Cafe in bustling downtown Hotchkiss, where I was a waitress. We were immediately attracted to each other, but it took a few years for me to recognize that and surrender to the relationship. That’s a story for another time.
Living in the North Fork Valley for many years was a beautiful and rich experience. I arrived with a child and a broken marriage. I gained lifetime friendships and community. I survived the loss of love and gained so much more. Craig and I married and built a beautiful home on Lost Mesa outside of Hotchkiss. We planted trees and restored the land to its natural grasses and wildflowers. We never thought we’d leave but his health forced us to move to a lower elevation.
It was wild, extraordinary, and amazingly awesome, and I am blessed.
There are friendships imprinted in our hearts that will never be diminished by time and distance.
~Dodinsky